When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked