I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
