Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.