Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
