it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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