They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
