Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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