goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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