I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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