Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
