Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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