How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
