You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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