Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
