i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize