i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
where does the pee come out of this thing
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
