he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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