Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
