God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Plan B is the new Plan A
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize