I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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