no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
