So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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