Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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