I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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