SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
