I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
