Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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