Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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