all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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