Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
