the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
