yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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