Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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