It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
