if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
