he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
