Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
