But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
