Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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