normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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