...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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