After last night, I could never be a politician.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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