She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
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