I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
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Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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