he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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