listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
