Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
