i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
