This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
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I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
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Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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