Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
