last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
