You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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