so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
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