Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
