Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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