So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
