I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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