well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
