Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
