College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
