i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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