so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
