remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
