WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
