you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
